If you mess up, its not your parents fault, so dont whine about our mistakes, learn from them.

　　如果你陷入困境，那不是你父母的过错，所以不要尖声抱怨我们的错误，要从中吸取教训。

　　Before you were born, your parents werent as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

　　在你出生之前，你的父母并非像他们现在这样乏味。他们变成今天这个样子是因为这些年来他们一直在为你付账单，给你洗衣服，听你大谈你是如何的酷。所以，如果你想消灭你父母那一辈中的寄生虫来拯救雨林的话，还是先去清除你房间衣柜里的虫子吧。

　　Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; theyll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesnt bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

　　你的学校也许已经不再分优等生和劣等生，但生活却仍在作出类似区分。在某些学校已经废除不及格分；只要你想找到正确答案，学校就会给你无数的机会。这和现实生活中的任何事情没有一点相似之处。

　　Life is not divided into semesters. You dont get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

　　生活不分学期。你并没有暑假可以休息，也没有几位雇主乐于帮你发现自我。自己找时间做吧。

　　Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

　　电视并不是真实的生活。在现实生活中，人们实际上得离开咖啡屋去干自己的工作。

　　Be nice to nerds. Chances are youll end up working for one.

　　善待乏味的人。有可能到头来你会为一个乏味的人工作。